It's been awhile since I've been on here, obviously, because the last time I was on here, it was February and now it's June. I'm about to graduate from high school and I'm having some mixed feelings...I don't want to leave all of my friends behind. I mean, I'm only going to ACC for college, which isn't exactly going "away", but my boyfriend, Isaac, is going away, and it's a couple of hours away. I'm going to miss him alot. We've been best friends for almost 10 years now...and now, when we finally decided not to be stupid and get back together, we aren't going to make it, in all reality. Most long distance relationships do NOT work, but I'm hoping that we'll be different. Maybe, by some stretch, we'll be able to make it through the four years he'll be at college and the eight that I will be. I mean, our friendship has lasted this long...why not another couple of years at least? I hate using the "L" word, (in case you're slow, that would be "love") but it seems like that's the only word that can be applied to our relationship. Whether it's a "just friends" kind of love or something completely different, I'm not sure on his side, but I know that I love him more than anything, and I will always feel that way.

I'm going on vacation starting the 16th of this month. I'm pretty excited. My mother and I are going to Florida...my father wanted to go but he can't, because he can't get the time off. So it's just mommy and me, flying all the way down by ourselves to see my grandparents, who are very rich and somewhat racist. It's okay...I can grin and bear it for a week I guess. As for my love life I am giving the love but not quite receiving it. *shrugs* Oh well. You can't have everything.

I guess I just can't have love.

You know, I really didn't realize that I haven't been on here in awhile. So much has happened that I didn't expect.

For example: I just had my three month anniversary with my boyfriend. I didn't think we'd last that long, but after being with him most of last night, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Shh...don't tell him though. I'm suppose to be an unfeeling jerk.

It's been awhile since I was last here. I guess that I've just been so fed up with people trying to understand my mind that I've stopped trying to explain it. People can't readily understand the things that happen inside of my head...they try to over-analyze the things that I say and sometimes I'm really trying just to put things into black and white so that they will stop trying to make a grey area. But apparently, that would be too easy.

Over-analyzation sucks.

I'm a little upset today...not really sure why. My friend Rusty is just being an ass and it's starting to wear pretty thin on me. I guess that's normal for any relationship though...you can't always get along. Oh well. I'm willing to deal with it I guess.

*sigh*

Just want a fuckin normal life.